Home Alone (not the movie)

I'm bored. The person who feeds me has left me alone — again — and there is absolutely nothing fun to do. She wonders why I do things I'm not supposed to when she's away, like eating everything I can find on the kitchen counters (kiwi fruit, by the way, looks furry on the outside but tastes nothing like meat). It's because I am B-O-R-E-D. She sometimes leaves the radio on when she goes out, but what good is that? If she really wants to keep me amused, she should leave the fridge open.